If you replace Syndicate with Deklein in the image above this post, you have a way forward for the Goonswarm Federation. The last few posts of mine that have been dealing with World War Bee have dealt a lot with the spin coming from TMC and Mittens in his fireside chats. Goons at their hearts have always taken things lightly. They are bad at this game. They hail from a comedy culture at Something Awful. The propaganda that Mittens has been spinning lacks any vestige of that. That, at its core, is what I understand DJ to be saying. It’s certainly what Goons all over New Eden who are not in GSF are saying. It actually saddens me to see that GSF Goons are picking up so little of this and are buying into the gossamer shreds of hope that are being pelted out by TMC. I say this because it will ultimately be the end of Goons to a degree completely avoidable.

Of course there will always be Goons in Eve. I fly with them in Horde and PL. Great folks. Darius is building a crew of them. And of course there will always be a GoonWaffe and a Goonswarm Federation. So when I am talking about an end of the Goons to a greater degree than otherwise, I am talking about an end to the current situation that will take GSF far longer to recover from than if it adopts other paths toward the future. Let’s take a look at some things.

First, World War Bee is not totally and 100% one-sided. Goons win some battles. PL makes some mistakes. Both of these phenomena have happened before, and they should not surprise anyone. Longwinded articles making much of the occasional won battle or successful tactic will not win this war. Right now the CFC war chest is enormous. We know that the MBC chest is too. However, MBC alliances control space and moons. The MBC has revenue. GSF revenue is a trickle of what it was. Money buys a will to fight. Goons have their storied history with which to rally themselves, but will that be enough when the war chest runs dry?

Recently, Seraph IX Basarab wrote an EN24 article explaining the Fabian Strategy in specific, historically accurate and academic terms. I’d like to add an observation to his statements, and further cement the truth that the CFC is not employing a Fabian Strategy. GSF is not Rome, but Carthage, and the GSF doesn’t have Hannibal’s war elephants that enabled him to break Roman infantry and get so far.

It may well be that Goons are geniuses, so much superior to PL and NC. and the remaining MBC alliances, who of course are all idiots compared to Mittens. If this is the case, then rather than describe the situation as a Punic War, we might liken WWB to the Nazis’ invading Russia. The Nazi regime had 35 million barrels of petroleum with which to conquer the world. They weren’t getting any more. Thus the attack on the Soviets. Thus the North African campaigns. Thus the war in the Middle East. That’s why it all happened, folks. Don’t kid yourself into thinking there was another reason for WWII. But in WWB, Goonswarm is not defending its space by drawing the MBC into it. GSF is attacking MBC space. I don’t know how you guys are missing that. You will be as effective as the NPC trash you once mocked before Lenny and IWI came along. Yes, you will indeed be annoying. That’s about it.

GSF is now a lowsec alliance. Your bank balance is what it is. You are being rallied by tales that you have won a few battles and your enemies have made some mistakes – that you’ve done a bit of good. If the tales you hear are not of your FCs winning them ALL, for a long, long, long time, you need to consider that the news is bad. The spin you are being fed is nothing but bread crumbs leading you to a big, bad wolf.

Lately, the spin seems to be centered around a hit to PL’s killboard. I’ve long touted that an alliance reaches its point of invulnerability by its reaction to tough times. Not to say that PL hasn’t suffered defeat before, but if their killboard stays low for a while, they will do nothing but become more resolute. GSF knows this. You guys have suffered some horrendous defeats. NC. has too. This does nothing but grow mojo. You’d better have more in mind that muddying a killboard. That’s not going to get you victory.

Victory almost always involves attacking from a position of strength. Instead of spinning yarns of delusion that you are on the verge of breaking PL because you jacked with their killboard, you should learn from them. Their traditional strength has been to ensure that they attack from a position of superior power. That’s why their killboard is as it usually is. And though they may suffer some casualties in a war (imagine that!), they are being true to form. They are farming you. Sometimes it will cost them more, sometimes it will cost them less. Have no illusions, however, concerning what your efforts are really going to get you.

Buying the spin will hurt you. The truth is that you have a leader that cannot take things lightly. He must be serious. Your leader also cannot be wrong. Mittens will never tell you what Remedial did: hey, it’s time to do something else. This will result in a tragedy of lasting effect. I hate to tell you this, Goons, but the day will come when you will go do something else. Unfortunately, with Mittens in charge, that day will be the day that your bank account is empty. You’ll be just another alliance forced to start from scratch. You could avoid this, though. You could conquer some space with trillions in the bank.

If Mittens won’t change his mind, get rid of him. If you can’t get rid of Mittens, Darius Johnson has the right idea. Go back to what you were. Lighten up, and don’t be stupid. Let yourself be bad at the game so you can go have fun and victory in times to come. Great adventures are in your future. Probably even some payback. NC. got theirs. Victory is waiting for you, but it’s not sprouting from Saranen, and it’s not taking root in Deklein.

Goons began with fun and irreverence of the establishment. A decade later, the Imperium plays you videos about discipline and robotic coordination. Oh how the mighty have fallen.  If you want to ruin somebody’s game, ruin Mittens’. He is who got you here. He is who is squandering your wealth and capability. And he is feeding you false yarns that will rob you of future glories.

4 thoughts on “Victory

  1. LOL, this was so fun, I have to be honest, I don’t love the fact that we lost our space or the fact that I can’t rat the way I was, also I don’t love Mittens very much for this stupid strategy, but what you wrote here is bad propaganda bro’. So I would want to see an MBC without PL, would you have the same balls you have now?… Or better, if we goons are so bad at this game, just fight us one on one, how about that?!? It’s easy right now for puppies to bark while they are protected by a fence, but don’t forget that you are still nothing more than puppies and when that fence will come down you will bleed out of your asses. This pathetic attempt to an inflammatory propaganda only made me wait impatiently for the day you will realize that you can’t kill goons, you can kick them, you can exile them, you can write shit about them but when you show just a glimpse of weakness we will drive you to the brink of extinction. So enjoy it while it lasts, have your 15 minutes of fame and look for us on the battlefield.


    • I normally don’t approve hostile comments, but I decided to here in order to set a couple of things straight. First, the post is an honest opinion. Since I have been in Horde I have been flying with a Goon that I like flying with, and the two of us fly in a group run by ElitistOps. So I’ve been around some Goons lately, just not the GSF. Also, and you can find it on my site, but I joined SA forums recently just to take a look at things and had an absolutely hilarious episode. As a part of it, I banned my own account, but through it a lot of Goons contacted me and said the whole thing was great. I looked into getting my account unbanned, and apparently am expected to pay, so I wrote Low Tax to see if I can get a break. But I realize I’m not so much Grr Goon as Grr What Goons Have Become.

      I honestly don’t think you guys are going to get what Mittens is telling you that you are after. If you really want to live in Deklein, you need to head off to somewhere else and build up and plan your return. Not fart around in Saranen. He is committed to what you have called a stupid strategy. He can’t just say he’s bad at the game. And he is going to run you into the ground.

      And finally, just to address some complete errors in your comment. An MBC without PL is not a reality and I just don’t deal in contrafactuals. Also, I personally love being a puppy. I get walked, petted, and fed juicy steak bones. I’ve gotten a lot of great advice, leadership, and good times from PL folks since I have been in Horde. We do know PL loves their KB. That’s why your spin masters have made so damned much out of an efficiency drop. We know PL generally doesn’t take fights it doesn’t know from the beginning it will win. But time and time again they take tough fights to come to our aid. There is no greater love than between a boy and his dog. If you think that a day is coming where PL will bail on us, you’re smoking something very, very bad for your health.

      I said in my post that Goons can’t be killed. However, Mittens can change his damned mind, or get tossed on his ass. Do the right thing by your alliance, man. No, you won’t be killed. But you will be run so far into the ground you’ll never get back on your feet.

      Like I said to a guy on the Reddit, though, when someone is so thoroughly indoctrinated as you, there’s just no point in talking to them. So I am not going to respond further, and most likely additional comments from you will not be approved.


    • I find it highly ironic that someone in the CFC is calling for 1v1 when the CFC has done nothing but blobbing for years and years.

      Since the formation of the CFC they called in every single alliance of their coalition in their engagements. Made it important as to those alliance’s future status how much they assisted, to ensure maximum participation. Now suddenly you think this is not the way to fight a war? Now this is somehow dishonourable or not the way to measure strength?

      After many years the shoe is on the other foot and now the rules need to be changed? Now you should fight it out PH vs Goons, no other allies get involved? As an alliance and coalition leader, for years and years the Goons smugged about being able to outblob everyone, pointing out how the others were weak and lesser for not being able to bring numbers. Poking fun at the self image of eliteness of the NC. and PL. Now you want fair odds to prove you are better at pvp?

      That is just laughable and I shall do so: “ha bloody ha”. The Goons have always lorded numbers over others. Not just their own numbers but those of their allies, meatshields and friends. Now you have alienated about half of those friends and allies, you’ve lost most of the numeric advantage and you start crying big tears about how it is unfair.

      Just grow a pair already, seriously.


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