Dickhead

Today’s post will likely only interest people who are actually interested in me. Perhaps it will be of interest to those who are interested in the culture of the Amarr militia, but I’m not really counting on that. I’m just writing this because one of the reasons I started this blog was to chronicle my Eve journey for those who might want a quick way to get to know me and my history in the event that they may find themselves recruiting me or flying with me or whatever. The post should wax philosophical, though, so may prove to be an interesting read for those so inclined.

Eve being a place where people feel empowered to behave in ways that would have severe consequences in the real world has populated our little galaxy with psychopaths, idiots, and jackasses who would have been removed from society by natural selection if the sandbox were more realistic. Or so we think. I have marveled throughout my life at those who have made it to the top of the heap. I’m often reminded of the words of Rabbi Maimonides, who I will paraphrase: “I would completely understand the intent of God if the wicked were rewarded in this life and punished in the next while the just were punished in this life but rewarded in the next. Likewise, I would also completely understand God’s intent if the wicked were punished in life for their evil deeds while the just were rewarded. But unfortunately there’s no rhyme or reason at all. The just and the wicked are punished and rewarded at random, it seems.” You just never know who will succeed or fail.

Tonight I have had an encounter with an unfathomable moron and idiot who managed the support of an entire alliance. It was an encounter that many of us have experienced some form of: recruitment nonsense. After tonight I will permanently bear on my employment history that I was a member of Incident Command, a corporation of the Local is Primary (CTRL V) alliance in the Amarr militia, for a few hours. Here’s the story behind that.

So as I wrote my last post, just a couple days ago after a few months off from blogging, I mentioned that I was running a small corp in the Amarr militia that had made its way there after a few twists and turns of fate. Well that post had actually been started a couple of weeks ago and was just recently hurriedly finished. Actually, the few active members of our little group had been debating how we would proceed into the future for a while. We’d looked into joining some militia alliances as a corp, but in the end we decided to just fold up shop and move into a more established corp as individuals. CTRL V was known to us, and I had flown with them in fleets before. I had picked up that the alliance environment was something like a male locker room with towel popping behavior such as making fun of people who make mistakes and the like. I already knew that it would not have been my first choice, but since it was the main alliance in the zone I decided to have a go at joining. I contacted one of the secondary corps in the alliance, but was told that I had a lot of skill points and should look to join the main corp, Dirt ‘n’ Glitter. I did thus, going through all the useless garbage that entails such as giving APIs, was then forced to give APIs on alts (that is never happening again – nobody needs APIs of characters that aren’t in their corp), and then was told that my application was accepted, but someone who was able would have to come on and give me an invite. Now I didn’t want to mess around without being in the militia waiting for an invite, and I had roles, so instead of just dropping corp I entered the 24-hour stasis and expected to just move straight over the next day. I was assured that my corpies who wanted to follow me wouldn’t have difficulty joining later on. Finally, the recruiter mentioned that the environment was a bit rough, so I needed thick skin, but that the people who dished stuff out were good at taking it. I knew what he was on about from previous experience with the group. So all was good to go, but then the usual happened.

I log in the next day, and the reasonably cool recruiter was not around, and I had to deal with some other twit, and this guy…I don’t know what to say. So the night previous, the recruiter tells me that he was having a problem with my API in their auth system. We then go over a few things and tells me it’s working. But apparently he leaves a note somewhere that my API was messed up. So I log in the next day and ask for a corp invite, and this guy, Tristan daCuhna, says, “YOUR API IS FUCKED UP, FIX IT!” so I do what any self-respecting recruit would do – I ask him to say that again without all caps and to end it with ‘please.’ From there he flips out and instantly rejects my application. Another CEO sees the conversation, and I private message him with a request to join his corp. He accepts me inside of 5 minutes. All’s well that ends well, right? I’m in Incident Command.

So from there I promptly set off to a fleet to flip a system. In the process I got the fleet a couple hundred million in kills by jumping our fleet onto some attackers with my Pontifex and otherwise have a blast. After the fleet, I go AFK for a while, and I return to find that I’ve been kicked from corp, Slack, all that, and a couple of people, including the CEO, reject my private messages. So I send a defamatory eve mail to Tristan, the obviously retarded source of the difficulty, and after a colorful exchange I end up joining Imperial Feydakin, the corporation of one Maz3r Rakum, a guy who I’d gotten to know via militia chat as a bonafide PvP god who was regularly helpful and and cool to just about everybody in the militia. So yeah, all’s well that ends well. After a good time chatting about fits, fighting, and Eve I’m confident I’ve made my way into a group that will turn me into the kind of PvPer that I have been itching to be for a good while.

But the recruitment experience with CTRL V is telling. I’m sure a number of you have had such recruitment experiences. Either you give all your APIs, or maybe you move tons and tons of crap to a new group’s staging area or something like that and end up not joining or find out the second you’ve joined that you’ve made a bad move, or your situation is specifically like mine where you join and get kicked a couple hours later, usually because some imbecile like Tristan changes the picture. It’s not all that uncommon. It’s a picture of life. As a military veteran, I’m aware of a long history of individuals that got promoted to General that would have found themselves in prisons or mental institutions if they’d been forced to function in civilian society. The US Army has actually abandoned that practice in the last 5-10 years or so with the buzzword, “toxic leaders.” I mention this because Tristan ended up being somebody in the alliance, as shocking as that may be. He formed Dirt ‘n’ Glitter and was apparently a director or something. This evidently resulted in his entire alliance, obviously stuffed with jackals who just can’t get enough of Tristan’s rod in their mouths, picking up pitchforks and removing me out of another corp in the alliance. Group dynamics are a crazy thing, especially in Eve. Like Maimonides, I’m just shocked at how such a twisted idiot could actually start a corp much less become someone that any group of reasonable adults would pay any mind to. Truth is stranger than fiction, however, and CTRL V just doesn’t resemble anything reasonable. Yet these yahoos are apparently where it’s at in the Amarr militia. Says something sad about the Minmatar…..

So that’s it. That was my day in outer space today. Like I said, this post will really only be of interest to those who want to get to know me personally through my blog. I’d say it could be good information for others considering joining CTRL V. If you like to suck people off until you get to a point where you can wantonly dump on anyone you talk to, CTRL V is probably your crew. As for me, they won’t be benefiting from my JFs and traders or my carriers or my Command Ship boosters or anything I would have brought to the table, and I am sure they are completely thrilled about that because, well, they’re geniuses. Beyond that bit of knowledge, though, I’d say the whole account is just a sad story of human nature as elucidated by the sandbox that is Eve, where failed humans are even more likely to be in senior positions than in real life.

EDIT: give credit where credit is due.

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